


Memories That Define

by PolarisTheYoungWolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Compulsion, Diary/Journal, Guilty Derek, M/M, Magic, Memory adjustment, Protective Elena, Regret, Second Chances, Slash, Stiles is Elena's and Jeremy's cousin, Vampire Stiles Stilinski, Vampires, Werewolves, sterek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:06:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarisTheYoungWolf/pseuds/PolarisTheYoungWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The session began with a question, "Who is Derek Hale?" and an answer of, "He was my boyfriend. I love him...but he broke up with me."</p><p>The session ended with the question, "Who is Derek Hale?" and the answer of, "He's a werewolf. Part of Scott's pack...sort of. Honestly? He's sorta a monster."<br/>----<br/>Stiles is really hurt when Derek breaks things off between them. So much so he does dangerous, insane things. Elena offers him an out...the out she took. Stiles has to go back to Beacon Hills so they can't erase Derek completely without there being complications...they just erased all the moments that made Stiles fall truly, madly, deeply in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who is Derek Hale?

**Author's Note:**

> This is up to season 2 on Teen Wolf but up to season 6 on the Vampire Diaries. 
> 
> There are different types of werewolves. I know I have a LOT of other fics to work on, but this won't leave me alone...
> 
> One of the things that always will bug me about the show is that Gerard hurt Stiles even though they're hunters, sworn to protect humans, and Stiles was human...and no one cared. They themed it to be that Chris felt more sorry for being prejudice against Scott for something he couldn't control but no way did they make it seem like they were sorry for kidnapping and hurting a human...it will always bug me. I mention this because I bring this up a bit and I beg you to remember this is FAN fiction...it goes away from what the show did...sorta...
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @_The_Young_Wolf

_Dear Me,_

 

_If you're reading this then somebody has spilled the beans about your selective memory loss. My money's on Caroline. Yes, you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you. And then when Damon died, the void he filled was too deep, too dark. Facing an eternity without your soul-mate, you went off the deep end, you turned into someone you weren't...a monster._

 

_Alaric can restore your lost memories, all you have to do is ask. But I hope that you don't. I tried it the other way and I didn't see the end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of the one who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off. You've been given a chance to start over. I want you to take it...I want you to be happy._

 

Stiles read that letter over and over about a dozen times before he looked up to meet his cousin's eyes and asked with a tiredly pained expression, “And why exactly did you give me this to read?”

 

“Because,” Elena smiled at Stiles slightly before tucking in her skirt under her and sitting next to him and engulfing him in a hug. “I don't remember loving Damon...I got curious and honestly, it's hard to believe. But now seeing you like this over Derek...I think it's possible.” She made a face of distaste when she remembered her argument with Caroline, “I know it seemed like the coward's way out but...” she looked off into the distance before looking back at Stiles, “What do you feel like right now Stiles?”

 

“Right now?” Stiles voice cracked as he spoke, “I feel exhausted but have to much energy to burn. I'm _so_ hungry but it's not something I want to think about...I'm scared beyond belief because I came here human but I'll have to go back a vampire and how the hell am I going to explain that to my dad and what if Scott and the others won't let me back home and gods _home_! Derek _was_ home! I...he was the first thought when I woke up and the last before I fell asleep...whenever anything happened, first I used to worry about my dad but then the first thing to pop into my mind was 'where's Derek?'...Every time I thought I knew something, he came and threw everything upside down...redefined everything. Every time I did something stupid...every time I did something that risked my relationship with my father...the last of my family over there...I somehow rationalized that I had to...for _him!”_

 

Stiles buried himself into his cousin's shoulder as he cried. Elena held him for a good half hour before he looked up, tears still running down his cheeks.

 

“Caroline and Tyler are telling me that it's because I'm still new. All that I was feeling before I died was just heightened times a hundred but....” he shook his head as he wiped at his tears angrily, “It's not going to go away...I'm so _angry_! And _hurt_! He doesn't want anything to do with me and I...I can't! I _can't_!” Stiles shot up and clutched his head as pain washed all over his body.

 

Elena shot up and followed him, grabbed his wrist and pull him into a tight hug.

 

“I know...but you can't let go of your emotions again...you just can't. We nearly lost you...I've lost enough people...knowingly...and even unknowingly...Jeremy and I can't lose you too. Not after all we've lost,” Elena spoke softly.

 

Stiles nodded. He'd only arrived at Whittemore about a month ago and it seemed like an eternity has passed. Three days in and he'd been fed vampire blood after a nasty run in with some witches. Within that 24 hour period when the vampire blood was still in his system, he died....and he'd completed his transition. Luckily it was by blood bag but still...he was a vampire.

 

Turns out Jackson's parents hadn't sent him to England right away. He'd run into him...or rather it had been Jackson who found his dead body. It'd been Jackson to rip open the blood bag. He apologized for being selfish...for being mean and rude before...he was just sorry and Stiles?

 

Stiles was too over sensitive to really grasp what Jackson was saying. He was scared and angry and hurt and when it got too much, he shut it off.

 

That led to another week of him learning to not get caught as he went on a rampage. But unlike other vampires who turned off their humanity, he wasn't a Ripper, he wasn't a Psycho...he wasn't a Katherine.

 

He was way more dangerous than any of them. He was calculated and cold. He was half way into building a vampire army before they got his humanity back.

 

Another surprise for the century...it'd been Jackson to get him back. Before he left they had the tiniest bit of 'pack' feeling. Jackson ranted on and on until his voice was hoarse but he got through. With mentions of Scott and Lydia and his father, though that wasn't what got him. The thing about being human? It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Even though the three previously mentioned sparked an itch at the back of his mind, it didn't do the trick. And when happiness and love couldn't be reached, Jackson was instructed to go for the negative. Stiles seemed to have that in boatloads. Mentions of Derek really got to him, but in hearing how disappointed his mother would be...that was a low blow, but the low blow he needed to feel again.

 

“Do you think Alaric will be willing to take on another patient?” Stiles whispered.

 

“If we make our case...and seeing what happened....” Elena murmured.

 

“The fact that I was dropping bodies left and right and raising an army and making a modern day vampire mafia may sway him that a heartbroken me isn't something we want around?”

 

Elena made a face, “I...would not use those words exactly...”

 

“But we're cousins and you more or less went through the same thing so you can't talk,” Stiles commented.

 

“I never started a vampire mafia.” Elena countered.

 

“Considering you compelled a lot of your teachers to get away with all this supernatural weirdness, I question your ability to create and maintain a vampire mafia...that sort of organization is more Caroline's forte.” Stiles teased.

 

Elena elbowed him, “Haha...”

 

“You know I love you.” Stiles said, and he meant it. Elena and Jeremy were one of the only cousins he was actually in contact with...and the fact that he didn't have to hide his knowledge of the supernatural was a huge blessing. Learning about their plights though...had been quite the surprise. Interesting one though.

 

“And I love you...which is why I hate seeing you like this. And even though I went through it myself and therefore have my reasoning for suggesting it...I do think you should do it. This?” she motioned to all of Stiles, “Is dangerous Stiles...you're becoming so much darker without him in your life and...it's not who you're meant to be.”

 

“I...I'll...I'll go see Alaric later tonight after his last class.” Stiles stated.

* * *

 

 

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“...not really.” Stiles replied honestly. No point in lying when speaking to a werewolf. He was sitting in the apartment Jackson was using while staying on the other side of the country. Alaric's last class was later in the evening and he had time to kill while Elena had classes.

 

“Then why go through with it?” Jackson demanded, Stiles could hear the confusion in his voice even without having those werewolf abilities like Jackson's.

 

Stiles shrugged, “Something about me killing innocents just because I lacked emotions...even if it wasn't as much as it could have been...what I was plotting? I was going to be a supernatural Hitler.”

 

“That bad?” Jackson asked, eyes a bit wide. Before he didn't take Stiles seriously. After the while Kanima ordeal Jackson is...a tad bit nicer, but whatever he saw in Stiles while he was without his humanity changed how he saw Stiles completely. Once upon a time he would have been stoked at the prospect of actually striking some sort of fear in Jackson Whittemore. Now...it makes him sick to his stomach.

 

“Yeah...” Stiles replied, looking away.

 

“But aren't you going back?” Jackson asked.

 

“I am...” at Jackson's confused look, Stiles elaborated, “Derek's not being erased completely. That would cause way too much confusion and have too many people question it...make the compulsion fall. No...if I'm doing this...then it's going to be done right. Alaric will nit pick through my memories...adjusting them. I'll still remember Derek but he'll...he'll mean nothing to me...”

 

“And you want that?”

 

“I...want to be able to wake up and not feel like there are ten tons worth of concrete on my chest...to not feel like my heart is in a vice grip...to be able to hear his name and not want to cry at how bad I messed up...”

 

“ _You_ didn't mess up!” Jackson insisted. “Look at how long and painful it took for me to become a werewolf...Derek's the one who messes up. You...you get shit right...no one ever listens though...but we should....” Jackson looked away with a bit of a blush.

 

That was also something new. Their friendship had grown. It was weird, for the both of them. They were so used to just hating each other because of the status quo back at school, but now...now that they're away from it all, they're actually really good friends. Still weird as hell though. Hence the blush and awkward tension.

 

Stiles coughed and cleared his throat, “Thanks...but Derek made it clear...my humanity was a liability and he wanted nothing to do with me.”

 

“You're not human anymore though,” Jackson pointed out.

 

“I know,” Stiles sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, “But any time I've heard about it vampires and werewolves didn't really mix well.”

 

“You and I are friends now....it actually helps me that you're not human. You can run faster than me, keep me from hurting people on the full moon without my anchor.”

 

“Exception to every rule and...there's always only one so...” Stiles closed his eyes, “You. _Weren't_. There, Jacks...I _have_ to go back home...if only for a while. I may come back here where everything is just _better_ for...you know, _me_. But I have to go back but I _can't_....as strong as I've become because of my lack of humanity, seeing him again with how much I love him but he doesn't love me...it'll destroy me...”

 

Jackson moved from his place across from Stiles and sat next to him, and bumped his shoulder with his and placed a hand on his knee. The caring human within Jackson comes out with his inner wolf in need of comforting his packmate.

 

“Whatever you decide...I have your back.”

 

“...Never thought I'd hear you say that, but...thank you.”

* * *

 

 

 

They were in Elena's dorm room, Elena outside in the hall way pacing back and forth while Alaric sat in a chair and Stiles on the bed. Stiles and Jackson had previously gone through crucial details about the events to the best of their memories. Jackson left soon after, along with Stiles' own message. Though his was a recording saved on a USB drive. If he ever decided for some reason he wanted his memories back...he'd need more than a letter. And he trusted Jackson to keep it safe while at the same time, keep it from Stiles' finding it accidentally. 

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Alaric asked in a calming and soothing voice.

 

Stiles let out a shaky breath, “You'd think with so many people asking me that today I may have changed my mind....”

 

“Have you?” Alaric asked, “It's alright if you have...or maybe want to think about it a bit more?”

 

Stiles shook his head violently, “No! If I don't do it now, I won't be able to go through with it.”

 

“It may not be a bad thing....rejection hurts Stiles. It's part of the human process.”

 

“That's were the problem lies, Ric....I'm holding on to my humanity and everything in it when...I'm not human anymore. I have to accept the fact that I died and that I have a new life...an immortal one at that...but I can't. All I can think about is if Derek is alright...where is he right now? Is he safe? Does he think of me? Did he ever love me? Why did he leave me? And...it doesn't stop Ric...it only gets worse...” silent tears began to fall from Stiles' amber colored eyes before they go cold and they meet Ric's, “Then I get angry and you've had to deal with that when it happens...”

 

In that same soothing and calm voice Ric replied with, “Right...let's get started. Ready?”

 

Stiles sat up straighter, took a deep breath, and nodded.

 

“Who is Derek Hale?”

 

“He was my boyfriend. I love him...but he broke up with me.”

 

“When did you first meet him?” Alaric asked as he began to used his compulsion ability and captivate Stiles' attention.

 

“I...I was a little kid. At the station. I was waiting for my dad to finish up when...I said hi to him. He'd just lost his family...it was near the anniversary of my mother's death. I introduced myself...and told him that just because it hurts, doesn't mean you can't allow yourself to feel good too....” Stiles smiled a little at the memory. It had been one of their first intimate moments when they both remembered that and how much it meant to each of them.

 

“And how did that make you feel?” Alaric asked.

 

“Like it wasn't so stupid to hope despite it all seeming so hopeless....”

 

Alaric's eyes dilated as he adjusted the memory, “You didn't see the Hale survivors that day when you were a kid. You waited for your father in your usual place, bored out of your mind and with nothing to do. Your eyes were tired and your face itchy from crying a bit, still mourning your mother's loss.”

 

“Who is Derek Hale?”

 

“He was my boyfriend. I love him, but he broke up with me.”

 

“When did you meet him next?” Alaric asked.

 

“After Scott got bit. There were hunters coming around too. Come to finish a job...when we made the connection, we just began to see Derek everywhere.” Stiles explained.

 

“And how did that make you feel?”

 

Stiles let out a breath, “Like anything was possible...I was always the odd kid that wanted to believe and then out of nowhere...it was all true. Because of Derek.”

 

Alaric's eyes dilated again, “It wasn't because of Derek. It was because of Peter Hale. His psychotic episode did nothing but make it hell for all of you. Derek wasn't any help. He wasn't very present except in the big fights. But so wrapped making sure your father and best friend were safe...you didn't notice Derek.”

 

“Who is Derek Hale?”

 

“He was my boyfriend. I love him, but he broke up with me.”

 

“What happened next?”

 

“Derek wanted a pack...he began biting people who thought they wanted the bite. Jackson ended up not becoming a werewolf at first but something called the Kanima... it was a nasty creature. It paralyzes you from the neck down and Derek was hit and fell into the pool...he would have drowned except...I held him up for two hours. I didn't really like the guy but...I couldn't let him die like that...drowning is painful...”

 

“The Kanima showed up but it didn't attack Derek. He didn't fall into the pool. Once the Kanima was gone, he left too. He didn't pay you a second thought.” Alaric said with his dilated eyes.

 

And it continued like that for hours as they picked through his memories until finally they settled on the moment Stiles fell in love with Derek.

 

“I'd just been kidnapped and beaten by hunters....I couldn't tell my dad because...how could I? No one bothered to care...it seemed like no one noticed...but he did. He noticed. He didn't say anything because words are my forte, not his...but he brought over a first aid kit though I had already check myself over...and my dad had as well...Derek's not good with words, but he's good with actions...and...when all Hell was breaking loose, when it was one chaotic explosion after another and everyone had tunnel vision of some sort and I was pushed into the background and sidelines...he saw me.”

 

Alaric sighed a bit and looked at Stiles with saddened eyes before they dilated, “He didn't see you...he never went to check. No one did. Only person to care was your dad and he didn't and couldn't know the truth at the time. You were miserable and angry and hurt...but strong. Then you needed a break and your father agreed. Let you come visit your cousins.”

 

Stiles eyes glazed over and there was a visible shift in him. Alaric then took a deep breath and asked, “Who is Derek Hale?”

 

Stiles seemed to snap awake from a daydream before he replied, even though his eyes were a bit watery, “"He's a werewolf. Part of Scott's pack...sort of. Honestly? He's kind of a monster."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the amount of "..." in the first chapter. There were a lot.
> 
> Also unbeta'd and sorry for any mistakes there might be.

_Dear Crimson,_

_The name I have given you isn't all that original seeing as you are a really nice red journal with a metal clasp. A present from Caroline who thinks red is **my** color. Elena is very positive that writing in a journal will help me. The therapist I had after mom died thought the same thing. It was just hard to keep a journal back then since I was a kid and had ADHD. I either didn't know what to write or didn't know how to spell a word or I simply forgot. I told Elena such but she insisted. And got Caroline on board, and she took it a step forward and bought you. I refuse to call you a diary and starting things out with 'dear journal' seemed...childish. The point of a journal was to get things out. Tell someone, or in this case **something** , what was on my mind. And now that I summed up your purpose I guess I should get to some of the juicer stuff, right?_

_I could probably go into detail about Scott becoming a werewolf and **that** whole journey. It **was** one hell of a journey. But as I write this Caroline is sitting across the room, glaring unamused as I say aloud what I'm writing. Even though you are here but an inanimated object, Crimson, you did see how she balled up a piece of paper and threw it at my head, right? She's got good aim. Must watch out for her in the future!_

"Stiles!"

He looked up from his writing and gave her an amused grin.

_Fine. Seeing as I value Caroline and her friendship (and even if she comes off as preppy and peppy and all cheerleader-y, she is one of the most dangerous vampire mentors I have.)_

" _Stiles_!" 

Stiles just grinned wider at the blonde, then continued dictating his writings.

_Alright, alright. I'm not sure if ironic is the correct word I'm looking for, but it's pretty damn close to describe my situation. I had come to Whittemore to visit my cousins. (Elena was studying here, but I had to make a trip to Mystic Falls to visit Jeremy. But sometimes he comes visit me.) It was supposed to be a much needed vacation from all the supernatural crap back in Beacon. Plot twist? Supernatural crap is everywhere...not really surprising I guess. But the twist was that instead of mostly dealing with Werewolves, I'm now dealing with Vampires._

_...I now have to deal with **being** a vampire. _

_It's intense. The feelings I had when I arrived were rather shitty and when I transitioned into a Vampire, they amplified and I felt them a hundred fold. **That**...didn't end well. I could go into how I turned off my humanity and went on a killing rampage. Ah, right, thank you Caroline. Crimson since you are a journal you didn't hear as Caroline corrected that it wasn't so much as a killing rampage, but rather a calculated killing spree. While other Vampires like Stefan turned into Rippers and Elena turned into a Katherine 2.0 (I got the basics of Katherine but I feel like there is more to that story. In due time...I am immortal after all.), I became this sophisticated, patient killing machine. Scary in the way of how efficient I was. _

_If you knew about my past Crimson, you'd probably laugh at knowing it was Jackson Whittemore who brought back my humanity. Granted when he failed to reach the nicer side of me, he was all douche-y douche and as mean and evil as ever...but his intentions were good. I got my humanity back. Jackson and I are...we're friends now. And you're a journal and even if you were the magical kind like from out of Beauty and the Beast or anything like that, I don't think you'd understand the magnitude of that statement._

_Caroline is giving me the stink eye again so lets get to something relevant again, shall we?_

_I'm well aware that there are things I still have to confront. It was something Scott and the others had an issue with when they changed. It's something everyone has a huge misunderstanding of. They think that when something happens, there is always a chance to go back to how things were before. But that's just an impossibility. Whether good or bad, once something happens there is no going back. That's where a lot of the near tragedies and actual tragedies happen. We try to hang on to something we can't grasp anymore._

_I'm not the Stiles I used to be. That Stiles was human. Maybe he wasn't oh so remarkably human. Maybe he wasn't iconically human. He was weird. And clumsy. He rambled and stayed up until ungodly hours jumping from one Wikipedia site to another for the sake of saving his GPA or helping save the town from the most recent villain. He knew he wasn't a hero, but he tried to do good anyway._

_That Stiles died._

_I'm not saying an echo of him doesn't remain in me...some sort of reflection, but I am saying that I'm not him anymore. Sort of like Lycanthropy, Vampirism has it's 'benefits.'_

_I'm stronger, faster, my senses are impeccable, and my ADHD is gone. Though unlike with becoming a Werewolf I don't think it's just some magical quick fix. I am technically dead...undead. Or maybe ADHD was just a human thing that didn't transfer over...or maybe it just isn't as strong as before. I can focus better now, but I still have my moments. This probably being one of them._

_Still, even if I tell myself over and over again that I died, and I do remember my death pretty vividly mind you, I still don't think I've grasped the severity of it._

"You're pretty well aware of yourself." Caroline commented as she rested on the bed while Stiles wrote at the desk. 

He swiveled in his chair to look at her, "I've always had to be observant."

Turning back to his journal he continued. 

_Caroline is planning my funeral. No one outside the circle of friends this side of the country know I died. I don't think it's something I want to bring up with my dad and Scott and will try to hide it as long as possible. Though it probably won't be forever. Though I'm not sure if I'm hoping to be outed by the whole 'not aging' thing or not. But anyway, Caroline is organizing my funeral and everyone who is a supernatural friend on this side of the country is attending. It's a therapy trick and it goes with what I was saying. I can't go on pretending my death didn't happen. It did._

_I was killed._

_And I have to come to terms with it. The funeral is supposed to be symbolic. We'll drive over to Mystic Falls on a weekend when no one has class. Stefan has allowed my name to be added to the Salvatore Family Crypt. Yeah, an actual crypt. Creepy right? Though I'd like to think no one would think too much about another marker or gravestone, you just never know. But anyway. Tyler, since the only one with money with Stefan being MIA after agreeing to me using his family crypt, is buying my grave marker. There'll be flowers and speeches and booze. I have to wear a suit._

Tear drops fell onto the pages and Stiles wiped them away. He sniffed and forced himself to finish the entry. 

_Caroline's taken me to get it. When the tailor asked what the occasion was for I didn't hesitate to reply and say it was my Death Day Suit. Poor old man looked so heartbroken. Gave us a discount. With my new super hearing I heard him ask Caroline what I had when I went to try somethings on. Before she could think of some excuse I told him of what my mother had. I told him what the demonic fox made my dad believe I had and explained it in a way those without medical knowledge could understand. I said it all rather emotionlessly. I wasn't sure what came over me. I was so detatched. I felt...sort of what I felt when I didn't have my emotions on except...I did._

_I felt empty._

_I told a human being about my death. My would be death, anyway. It was...robotic. Automated. It wasn't until we got back to the dorms that I unleashed the pain I had. Elena and Caroline held me as I cried. Part of me feels like I should be ashamed, but I'm not. I was afraid when I died. My life is different now and I don't know all that has changed from the obvious. There are things that hit you face first like the whole sun thing, or not being able to enter private residences without being invited in thing. But then later will come other things...like after five or ten years or so I won't be able to be around people I've known my whole life...not without compelling them to ignore the fact I haven't aged._

_Oh, and that's another thing. Compulsion. Pretty cool thing to have, but...haven't mastered it yet. Lessons on that with Caroline are still on going._

"I think that's enough for once night." Caroline said gently. She'd stood from the bed and was now standing behind him with a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. 

Stiles let the pen drop and he closed 'Crimson'. Taking a few deep breaths to calm his mind from the racing thoughts, he stood and faced Caroline. The grin he gave her was a tired, but grateful one. "Thank you."

She smiled at him with a knowing sadness. "Hey, no problem. It wasn't all that expensive, but also not run of the mill. I thought I journal should be awesome. Elena's are pretty and I figure it must be a family thing and I just..." she trailed off and looked at him with this _look_. 

It was close to pity, but it wasn't anything like that. He'd seen it the first few times since he transitioned and confused it as such, but it was now that he understood. It was understanding. It was an understanding that not many actually had. Even those who were also Vampires. Caroline had been in his shoes, has walked the path he's walking, and has made it so damn far. 

At first he was skeptical she and him could be friends. Stiles has always been at the bottom of the social food chain while Caroline has always thrived and ruled on top as Queen Bee. But as the high school dramatics melted away and the world became bigger and darker, Stiles saw the similarities between him and Caroline that he couldn't even share with Elena. 

From their need to try to understand everything and look for every possible answer and refusing to give up, to knowing what it was like have a single parent who was the Sheriff of a very supernaturally populated town that they tried to protect despite being oh so human. 

But they also shared in the trait of not acknowledging just how useful they actually were. 

So he smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. She startled at first before returning it just as tightly. 

"Yes, thank you for the journal, it's lovely. But for so much more than that. So showing he the ropes and having patience with me."

"Well, you're not the first. So there's that." she said teasingly as they pulled away.

"There's also the fact that you're kinda damn perfect."

She smirked playfully at him. "And don't you forget it!"

He chuckled before giving her the most sincere look he could muster. "I know Elena tries. Is trying. She wants to help me in any way she can, she just...she hasn't yet mastered which side I need depending on the situation. The human side, or the vampire side. You do."

Caroline smiled and hugged him again. "Hey, what are sheriff's kids and friends for?" Pulling back she gave him another smile that weren't given to the world. Stiles was pretty sure that when Caroline looked at him now, she saw herself. Looking at her now, it actually gave Stiles confidence. It also gave him a feeling that he'll be alright. "I have to get to class. Will you be okay?"

Stiles nodded. "Jackson should be back at his apartment by now. I'm going to go hang out with him. See you and Elena later for dinner?"

"Totally!" she grabbed her bag and waved at him as enthusiastically and radiating sunshine as Caroline always does, and leaves him. 

* * *

 

"So how do you feel?"

"You know, that's the third time this week you've greeted me with that question." Stiles stated as he walked into Jackson's apartment. 

The blond shrugged and tried cool his features. "So?"

"It's a weird greeting." Stiles said as he made his way to the couch where Jackson had previously been watching television. 

"You were weird while you were human, Stilinski. You're a Vampire now." Jackson scoffed, but in a way Stiles has learned he was tried to hide something. He wasn't sure if he should press or not. 

He decided to not. When Jackson called him Stilinski, it would mean he was going to deal with the Jackson he knew back in Beacon Hills, not the Jackson he's befriended here. So he went with that topic instead, "I'll be heading home soon."

Jackson perked up. "I thought you were staying longer."

"I...I'm going to come back." Stiles replied evenly. At Jackson's raised eyebrow he elaborated. "I want to check on my dad and Scott and everyone else. But that's wolf territory. I think I'll do much better here. Birds of a feather flock together sort of thing. Plus, even though I feel in control, I'm still pretty new to this. Hell, I think I'll only be there for a weekend at most. Caroline is an amazing teacher, but...remembering what I did...how I lost control." Stiles shook his head. "It's a slippery slope, and given all the trouble in Beacon..."

"You being a Vampire may be too tempting." Jackson added, to which Stiles nodded. 

"I might compel my dad..." Stiles said thoughtfully. 

"You sure about that?" Jackson asked carefully. 

Stiles remained quiet for a while before sighing, "I don't want to, but I think it'll be safer. He's never going to stop worrying about me. Living like that..." he shook his head. He and his dad constantly worried about the other. They both knew what worry was. "I want him to sleep easier. I want him to be able to focus without me blinding his judgement. I...I need him to begin to let me go." Stiles said quietly and Jackson could only give him a sympathetic glance. 

* * *

 

_Dear Crimson,_

_It's weird. A couple of days ago I swear I was about ready to be crushed by...I don't even know. I felt so pressured and weighed down, as if I was Atlas and holding up the sky. Now though...I feel lighter. Maybe the 'therapy' sessions with everyone is helping. The emotional talks with Elena as we both delve into how crazy our lives have become since high school. There were also talks of nostalgic times when we were kids and our parents used to take us out to the cabin by the lake. As important as it was to embrace the new me and my new life, I shouldn't forget my old one._

_I helped Tyler work out. He's human again after being a Werewolf and then a Hybrid. It helps me learn to control my strength and speed, as well as anger. Still have some of that to work through. I also get to talk to him about the differences about each species. I think he appreciates me assuming he's not the dumb jock people make him out to be._

_I can now compel people! Hazzah! Caroline was there to make sure should I fail, she would erase my embarrassing attempt on my 'victims'. Speaking of which, Elena has gotten me some extra blood bags to drink before my trip home. She doesn't want to take the chance of me being hungry on the way or at home. I haven't lost control since but it's still a rather scary possibility. Caroline's told me that I should have a drink...or more. Alcohol helps keep the edge off the hunger. I try to reassure them but they're still plenty worried. Jackson helps by spontaneously announcing he'll be coming home with me._

_The girls are relieved, they're all hiding something and I should probably be more worried. But I'm really **not**. I trust them. Even Jackson. It's so friggen weird saying this, even if it's only to myself this time, but I trust Jackson Whittemore's intentions for me. _

_Cue the Twilight Zone music, Beacon Hills...things are gonna be weird._

* * *

 

"Your scents all over, dude."

Derek turns to look at Scott who held his helmet under his arm. Derek 'hm'd' but didn't say much else. 

Scott sighed as he stood next to the older wolf, "Don't do this."

Derek turned to give Scott a glare that Scott surprisingly returned. 

" _You_ broke things off with him. You told him he wasn't part of the pack, which is _bull_ by the way! You seriously hurt him." Derek opened his mouth to say something, but Scott wasn't finished. "In some morbid way I _get_ it. You're trying to ' _protect_ ' him, but what you did was stupid. You're just scared of being hurt and you want to know what I think? You made one of the _stupidest_ decisions **_ever_**! Stiles could have been the best thing that happened to you, but you got scared and broke things off! You saw what it did to him. Mission accomplished! He _left_! Now he's back and I'm sorry you're regretting your decision and hurting too, but you can't just play with people like that! You can't keep calling him back and playing with his emotions!" 

"I don't plan to!" Derek barked.

Both their eyes flashed as they stared each other down. Eventually their eyes went back to normal and Derek looked away in regret. "I _know_ I messed up. I know I don't deserve him. But it's been _hell_. I...I _felt_ things, Scott. Nightmares that are worse than the ones from the fire! I saw Stiles die! I _felt_ it! Each time I woke up and immediately went to my phone to call him, check if he was alright, but in the last moment I don't. I _know_ what I did. It was for his best interest. Of that I'm _sure_. But...I can't keep away from Stiles anymore than you can from Allison."

* * *

 

"Should I be afraid to ask why you're _both_ here?" the Sheriff asked as he eyed Stiles and Jackson with a skeptical gaze. 

Both laughed and for once it wasn't sarcastic while in each other's presence. The Sheriff wasn't at all sure how to feel about this. 

"May we come in?" Jackson asked. 

" _Both_ of us?" Stiles added. 

The Sheriff gave them another look before nodding and slowly saying, "Yeah...sure."

Jackson looked at Stiles while Stiles carefully stepped through the threshold. When no invisible force kept him from outside, both Jackson and Stiles let out  sigh of relief. Them being together was the oddity that allowed the question to be posed to allow Stiles inside without delving into the supernatural. Stiles wanted to keep that hidden as long as possible. 

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" the Sheriff demanded. 

Jackson and Stiles looked at one another before Stiles met his father's gaze and began to speak. "I talked with Elena. See...I liked it over there dad. And she's been having problems with Jeremy."

"Is he alright?" immediate concern for his nephew rose. 

"Relatively speaking. Elena can't really concentrate on her studies because...well...Jeremy's lost a lot. His parents, Aunt Jenna, friends, and even a girlfriend that he really loved. Caroline all but had to threaten Elena to stay and complete her studies. I...I think I'm better suited over there. Help keep Jeremy on the straight and narrow."

The Sheriff eyed his son for a long time before rubbing his face and sighing, "You sure about this kid? You're...you'd be leaving a lot behind here."

Stiles nodded. "It wasn't an easy decision dad. I talked with a lot of people. And I did a lot of personal thinking. I really think I'm more needed there than I am here. Hell, Jackson and I are even friends now."

"Seriously?" the Sheriff asked.

"It's weird. Even to us, still. But yeah. Away from Beacon Hills, sir, away from the high school that formed us to the status quo that we were...we see the similarities instead of the differences." Jackson replied.

"O-okay. I'll...I'll give it some thought."

At the Sheriff's reply, the boys shared another look before Stiles stepped in front of his father, grabbed his face, stared into his father's eyes, and his pupils dilated.

"You're going to let me go there. It's for the best. And you're not going to worry about me. You'll take care of yourself while I'm gone."

Jackson walked around the house while he waited for Stiles to finish compelling the Sheriff. As he made it to the kitchen he caught two scents that were vaguely familiar. 

* * *

 

"Why did we think we can just drop in, make plans with my dad, and head home without shit fucking up our schedule?" Stiles hissed as he swung his bat at the reappearing, disappearing....thing! 

"We'd learn to be optimistic again." Jackson sarcastically replied as he tried to slash at the thing with his claws. 

At first it came at them like a shining orb of mystery. Stiles was tempted to think it might have been a good fairy or something. Until it started attacking them. He initially had a head wound and a broken ankle, but was healed in moments. Jackson and him had been in battle with it for the last twenty minutes without much leeway. 

He was thrust back and even with human senses he could have heard how his skull cracked as it hit the pavement. It was a rather sickening sound. He heard a roar, but it wasn't Jackson. He groaned and not just in pain. He wanted a quiet entrance and exit from Beacon. 

Someone was helping him up and he heard more growls and howls. When he finally blinked his vision back he saw Scott and Isaac, followed by Boyd and Erica, and Derek Hale. The thing was pinned down by an arrow and as he turned he saw Allison coming out of the tree line. 

"Jackson?" the voice next to him asked. He turned and saw Lydia. 

Before Jackson could reply or Stiles say something witty, someone was cupping his face. It was gentle and sweet and beyond weird when he realized who it was. He jumped backwards, away from Derek Hale's touch and looked at him weirdly. "What the hell, dude?"

Derek himself took a step back, looking as if he'd been slapped. He took a step forward, causing Stiles to take a step backwards in uncertainty. Derek searched his face and Stiles looked on, defyingly staring back, though confusion must have been one of his clearer expressions. 

"S-Stiles..." When Derek spoke his name, his voice was breathless and cracked and sounded so broken. It made pity rise in Stiles. Derek's eyes glossed over and the look he gave Stiles was pleading. Silently begging. And it confused Stiles beyond all reason. 

Before Stiles could respond in anyway, someone grabbed his hand. Turning he saw Jackson with a steely face. He looked into Stiles eyes and said. "We _have_ to go."

Stiles looked at Jackson and searched his face. It was the same face he had when he was with Caroline and Elena just before they left. Also the one he had when he asked him how he was feeling. It was the face of a man who knew something. Stiles and Jackson locked into a staring contest where a lot of things were said without words. Finally Stiles sighed and nodded and began to follow Jackson. 

Another arm reached for him and looking back he saw Derek grasping his wrist. The look in his eyes was desperate now. Stiles searched the face for answers, but all he saw confused him more. Jackson tugged on his other wrist and Stiles pulled free from Derek's hold and let Jackson lead him away. More confused than ever. 

* * *

 

"Derek?" Isaac asked. 

Everyone had watched the exchanged quietly. They were all confused and unsure of what the hell was going on. The wolves could all smell Derek's pain and heartache, and the humans could see it plainly on his face. 

"He...he looked at me like I was a stranger." Derek mumbled. 

"Hey..." Scott began, but really, he had no idea what to say.

"He looked me dead in the eye and...I saw no recognition. No love...It's like he didn't even know who I was." 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Stiles demanded as he pulled his wrist away from Jackson's hold. 

He allowed Jackson to drag them all the way to their hotel. Jackson wanted to continue their conversation inside but Stiles had too many questions on his mind. Okay, maybe not that many, but the ones he had were serious and demanded immediate answers. 

"Look, can we just head inside and phone Caroline and Elena? _Please_?" Jackson stood his ground and matched Stiles's glare. 

"No! I want to know what the hell is going on. I was going to bring it up later, at a more peaceful time, but I should know by now that's not how my life works. I saw the way you three were looking at each other. Hell, I've seen the way _a lot_  of people have been looking at me lately. I just put it up to the whole 'Vampire Killer' thing. But it's not that, is it?" Stiles demanded. 

"Stiles..."

"No, Jackson! Why did Derek Hale look at me like that? He looked at me...he...he looked at me like how I looked at my mom just...just before she..." Stiles felt his face vamp out in anger and sadness as his emotions were still rather heightened. 

"Hey!" Jackson cried as he pulled Stiles's hood over his head and ushered him into the back alley so no one would see them. Jackson rested against the building's wall and let out a sigh. "I don't want to lie to you, Stiles."

"Then  _don't_!"

"But I don't think you're ready to hear the truth." Jackson said softly. He then met Stiles's eye and it was moments like these that Stiles remembered that he was dealing with a new Jackson. A Jackson who was his friend. He was angry and irrational, and Jackson was looking out for him. 

"When will I be?" Stiles asked brokenly. He was just too confused right now. It seemed like all those bags he had before he left Whittemore weren't doing him any good. He was hungry again. He could feel his face vamp out and his throat felt like he's gone weeks without water. 

"Look, we'll call your cousins. You'll dive into the mini bar to help keep the edge off while I head to the hospital and get you some blood bags okay?" Jackson then tried to lighten the mood by grinning a bit and adding, "We're in for a long night. Any preference in dinner? A Positive? O Negative?"

Despite himself, Stiles chuckled. "Whatever you can manage, so long as it's human. None of that Bambi-Thumper crap."

"Whatever you say Cullen." Jackson smirked, knowing how much Stiles hated the comparison. 

"We both know Stefan is Cullen. Not just cos of the 'vegetarian' diet, but because of his hair."

"It _is_ rather amazing hair."

"Yeah, it kinda is."

It was so weird how it wasn't weird. How his and Jackson's friendship was now that easy. He hated not knowing. In this case it seemed like knowing what the hell was going on was the priority, but he'll follow Jackson's orders. 

While he served himself from the mini bar, Jackson tapped into the hotel's wifi and set up a Skype call with Caroline. They talked about what happened that day. How they visited the Sheriff and eased his mind with a bit of Compulsion. He'll still love Stiles, wonder about him and his well being, but he won't do it as ominously obsessively as Stiles imagined he did when he was away. Then they explained the monster attack. Caroline was all sorts of frazzled. She ranted for about ten minutes about how she should have gone with them. They eventually managed to calm her down by reassuring her that everything was okay. Jackson then told her how Beacon Hill's pack arrived to help the. 

Her eyes widened and Stiles had that feeling again. It was a twinge of betrayal because they knew they were keeping something from him.  Caroline gave him that smile she gave people when she tried to reassure them. 

Jackson sighed, "I promised we'd tell him."

She looked very angry at him, so Stiles chimed in, "I promised to wait until we were all together again. Getting out of Beacon without any more problems is our first priority."

Caroline looked surprised. "Wow...wish we had more logically thinking practical people like you. Okay, look...I'll try to see if I can book you guys on an earlier flight. Just try your best to stay out of trouble, okay?"

"I'm heading to the hospital to get him some blood bags to hold him over. He'll stay put here. For everyone's sanity, think you can keep him busy while I'm away?"

"Totally! I have  _so_  much to tell you anyway. I mean, miss a little, miss a lot. Did you know Elena is getting all sorts of weird-o comfy with Liam?" Caroline's face was that gossipy scandalized that told Jackson she'll be going on for hours. 

"That med student who tries really hard to look like he's not impressed and not jealous of Elena while at the same time totally checking her out?" Stiles asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"That's the one!"

Jackson grabbed his jacket, grinning as he patted Stiles on the back to alert him he was leaving. Stiles and Caroline waved him off before continuing to gossip about the campus life. It's what Jackson thinks about as he makes his way to the hospital. From what he knows, Caroline, Elena, and the others were much like him and Stiles who had to go through a lot of crap figuring out the supernatural. Now they basically have everything down to a science and they can put their supernatural attributes as just another part of their character. It doesn't have to get in the way of their lives like it did back in high school. Like how it dominated just about every aspect. Gossiping about Elena's latest romantic adventure wasn't centered about her being a Vampire. 

He can only hope they survive this visit and everyone in Beacon to make it back to their semi-normal lives back in Whittemore. 

* * *

"What happened to Stiles?"

Jackson mentally cursed as he slammed his car's trunk closed after putting in the cooler full of blood. He sighed as he slowly turned to face the array of faces that greeted him. From Scott's look of pained determination, Derek's just as determined face but laced with heartache that was clear in his eyes, to Isaac who was looking stoic and angry, and Boyd who looked rather bored.

"I don't think it's any of your business." Jackson hissed as he met their stares with his best glare. 

He was met with eyes flashing and his own reacted with an electric blue. 

"Now boys...I'm sure we can handle this with more finesse." Lydia calmly stated as she came out of the shadows with Allison and Erica by her side. 

"I don't think these idiots know what that word means." Jackson bit out. 

She narrowed her eyes at him and they shared a silent conversation and a battle of wills. 

"Something's happened...and we just want to know what. The fact that you're involve just makes it...suspicious, is all."

"That and you just stole like...five bags of blood." Isaac chimed in.

Jackson glared at all of them, but his eyes locked with Lydia. They had another silent battle that have everyone else shifting eyes back and forth between the two like a tennis match. Finally, Jackson sighed and held his hands up in surrender. Lydia smirked in satisfaction before repeating the core question everyone wanted answered, "What happened to Stiles?"

* * *

 

"What do you mean I was in love with Derek Hale?"

Elena had shown up soon after Jackson had left him in the hotel. Stiles wanted to keep his promise of waiting until they were all physically back together, but the suspense was killing him. He wanted to know. _Needed_ to know, or he'll go insane. Caroline and Elena argued, giving points as to why they should wait and why they should tell him now. Eventually Caroline got frustrated and blurted out the apparent 'truth'. 

His cousin sighed and looked apologetically into the camera. "You were madly in love with Derek. So much so that when he broke up with you...you were devastated and so heartbroken. You were angry too, and it was drowning you. Then you were killed with vampire blood still in your system. When you woke up and transitioned..."

"Let me guess...my killing spree had little to do with being a new born and more so with being over dramatic over a break up?" Stiles scoffed at himself, feeling very pathetic.

"It was more than that Stiles. Derek was your epic love. Your soulmate. Being separated from him, you were lost without your other half to make you feel whole...that's why you asked for the memory adjustment. To find yourself in the absence of the one who defined you." Elena reassured him with as much comfort as she could through video-chat.  

Stiles was silent for a moment until a question came to mind. "How does this memory thing work exactly?"

* * *

 

"Dead?" Scott whispered out once Jackson told them the basics. 

"Now undead? Immortal? But yeah, Stiles died."

They were in Derek's loft. Everyone was scattered around Jackson in different pieces of furniture or just standing. As Jackson looked around he saw the similar pack huddling. Lydia and Allison sat together in the love seat. Erica, Isaac, and Boyd sat on the sofa, while Derek stood behind it. Scott stood in the center while facing Jackson who was sitting int he arm chair. 

"How?" Lydia demanded. 

"Stiles's cousins were just as deep into the supernatural crap as we were. They mostly dealt with vampires though. Werewolves and witches too, but mostly vampires. At Whittemore college there was this...society of humans who would capture and experiment on the supernatural. So the supernatural activity was high there. By the time Stiles arrived there the society was dealt with, but vampires still came and went for various reasons. One night Stiles was injured. He probably wouldn't have made it but Stefan found him. Fed him his blood and healed him up." Jackson explained. 

"What? How?" Allison asked.

"Vampire blood is a really fast healing agent. External and internal damage...well for the most part. I've seen it heal stab wounds, claw wounds, being run over...things like that. Things like cancer or disease and stuff...I don't know if it works on stuff like that. But anyway, the point was that Stiles was safe...or so we thought. A small vampire coven passed through and slaughtered people left and right for nothing else but sport..."

"Stiles was one of the victims..." Derek murmured. 

He looked haunted. So much so that Jackson looked away. He was sided with Stiles. Jackson had been with Stiles when he was at his worst...at his most murderous. All because Derek broke his heart. He couldn't start feeling sorry for the guy, so he looked away.

"You told me the other day that you felt it. You saw and felt Stiles dying...was that...a psychic link or something?" Scott asked Derek. 

The older wolf shrugged. He took a moment to just look at the floor before looking over at Jackson and demanding, "What happened next?"

"Stiles died." Jackson answered without looking up from his lap. "But unlike some of the other poor souls, he had vampire blood in his system. His wounds healed, and he woke up...he'd been there for a few days. There was this...lingering trace of _pack_ on him that I clung to. When we found him..." Jackson shook his head to dispel the memory. "I couldn't lose him. People have a choice...whether they choose to transition or not. Drink blood and complete the transformation...or die." The blond took another deep breath before continuing. "While his cousins, friends, and others all argued about his choices and choosing life and the consequences and everything else...I was selfish. I grabbed one of the blood bags from storage and opened it in front of him. Instinct took over and...that was that."

It was dead silent in the room that dragged on. 

"So..." every one looked at Isaac who broke the silence. "Is it like _Twilight_ where we instinctual hate each other like snakes and mongooses?"

Jackson scoffed. "Don't be stupid. You can't take anything from that series seriously. Stiles and I have become really good friends."

"Which I think is even weirder than Stiles being a vampire." Scott commented with a frown on his face. "I still can't see it."

"Well believe it. Cos he's been rooming with during his stay. And my parents have rented an apartment in Mystic Falls for us too." Jackson tried his best to remain casual about it, but the moment he said it everyone's eyes snapped to him.

" _What_?" Derek cried.

"Stiles is moving to Mystic Falls. His cousins have fallen on some hard times and he's needed over there. His cousin is a vampire and his other cousin, though a vampire hunter, can control his supernatural hunting instincts and use it to protect Stiles. It's complicated but it works. Trust me." 

"Stiles can't move!" Scott yelled.

"He is." Jackson stated. 

"Why didn't he recognize Derek?" Boyd asked.

That broke any argument about Stiles's status and his living situation. Everyone was quiet again and looking expectantly at Jackson for answers. The blond sighed for the umpteenth time that night. 

"He does. He just..." Jackson made a face before standing up and pacing back and forth like a wild animal. He did his best to remember that he was here to make things easier for Stiles. But he wasn't all that great at control, and having everyone just surround him demanding answers and emotions ranging from all over the spectrum? It was driving him madder than a hatter. "Seventy-three..."

"What?" Scott asked with some of the others, Jackson didn't really care who.

"When someone is new to the world of vampirism, much like a newly bitten wolf, emotions are haywire. Anything they were feeling when they died was amplified one hundred fold. When Stiles died he was scared and alone, and suffering from severe heart ache." He looked up and locked eyes with Derek. "I don't know what happened. I don't know your reasons. But what I do know is that Stiles was utter shattered when he arrived. The fact that he would let me latch on to him without snark or sarcasm or hate of any kind as I tried to appease my wolf with his presence was enough for me to know how hurt he was. That sort of hurt amplified to the extent was torture...so did something about it. Vampires? They come with a lot of tricks. One of them is being able to switch off your humanity. And that's what Stiles did. Once he wasn't clouded by fear or anger or heartache...only bloodlust remained. The hunger of a newly born vampire that had a nearly insatiable appetite. He was ruthless and cunning, precise and deadly...seventy-three innocent lives were taken in that time. Loving you, without you loving him back after he knew what it was like...if he kept his humanity it shattered him. Without his humanity the anger that still remained underneath...made him a killer. 

"We knew Stiles would continue coming back to Beacon. For his dad...for Scott...but something needed to be done. Another cool vampire trick? Compulsion. Or mind control. Normally vampires can't compell other vampires, but there is one who could. Erasing Derek from Stiles's memory wouldn't work so easily. If he were to run into Derek again and people talked about it, the illusion would break all too soon. What Stiles ended up doing was...he had someone nit pick at all the defining memories that he had of falling in love with Derek. The moments were adjusted...whatever character development you two shared together that eventually grew to liking each other at all and then more than friends...it's gone. Anything you might have done in Stiles's eyes to make him love you is forgotten. Stiles remembers you as that loner, werewolf who is either causing problems or helping solve them...but nothing more than that...." Jackson looked down at his feet, "Seeing your face earlier...I'm sorry, man. But Stiles doesn't remember loving you. So he doesn't."

When he looked back up, Derek was walking away. Even though it was subtle you could see how his shoulders shook, as a werewolf he could smell the misery and heart ache, and can smell the salty tears that fell down Derek's cheeks.

* * *

 

Stiles woke up the next morning bright and early. Caroline had trouble booking them an earlier flight so their original schedule was still in effect. They had about another day or so in Beacon and Stiles wasn't sure how to feel. After talking to Caroline and Elena yesterday, and then with Jackson once he got home. The blood bags helped, but he still felt on edge. 

He felt lied to, confused, and angry...but with himself. 

He drained the last blood bag Jackson brought him before deciding he would go visit his dad for a while. He still wanted to keep things a secret a while longer, but being around his dad helped with his control. It wasn't anything like how Werewolves had an anchor, but it was pretty similar. The last thing he wanted to do was harm his father, and that thought alone kept the edge off. He was already planning on which lectures about his diet he was going to give his father when he opened the door and found someone there about to knock.

"Derek..."

Derek sucked in a breath and swallowed. His eyes were widened and they looked as relieved as they did sad. "Hi..."

Stiles wanted to run. He didn't want to deal with whatever supposed relationship he and Derek had. Not if it had a hand in making him a monster, not if he couldn't remember it, not if...if...

"What are you doing here?" Stiles asked.

"Can I come in?" was how Derek replied. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty on the fence about Twilight. I think if they had focused on any other pair or concept, it would have been more interesting. But I feel like that's what Jackson would feel like.

**Author's Note:**

> The way I wrote this, I'd like to remind people that this is fan fiction...I take things from the fandom and change it to fit my plot. 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @_The_Young_Wolf


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